i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
