You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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