was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
There's even glitter on my cock...
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