How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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