Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize