Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just want nice things and good sex
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
