somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
