You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
