is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
