I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We are two peas in an std pod
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I have feelings that need drinking.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
