Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
