I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
it's like iHOP with fire
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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