I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
