you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We had to coat check the pizza.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
