She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
