Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i now understand why vodka
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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