I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
