Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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