Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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