You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
