i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
