So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
