i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
