What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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