hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize