And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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