I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i need some magic done to my vagina
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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