Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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