i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
