This is not my ceiling
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
