That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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