he thought i was a dude.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
