And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
