i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
