I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
