Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
