What did we do last night that was yellow?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
