fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
