so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
