i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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