He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
