We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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