i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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