We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My vagina is officially offended.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
