Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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