I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
