i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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