Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
