I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
