I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
