It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
