I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
